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Riding the Mother’s Day Roller Coaster

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Denmark_Connie Mann

Mother’s Day is often an emotional roller coaster for women, the swoops and turns determined by life season and situation. There is the month-long climb towards high expectations–courtesy of Hallmark and Publix commercials—followed by the stomach-lurching drop into reality–courtesy of McDonald’s, busy schedules, missed reminders—and life.

There isn’t a woman I know whose family resembles the ones in those commercials—though we often wish they did. The reality is often a jumbled mess of laughter and tears, of happy days and heartbreaking ones.

This day will find some women grieving–the loss of a child, or the ache of never having children at all. Many with grown children flounder in the grief of wayward children and the silence of empty houses. Moms in the middle of the parenting years, juggling a crazy-busy household, still battle a nagging sense that they haven’t done enough, haven’t done it right. Grandmothers worry that they have failed somewhere down the line.

No matter what season of life you’re in, or what title you wear, please know this:

If your heart is breaking this Mother’s day, consider yourself hugged, hard. You are loved and valued and valuable. And you are not alone.

If you are climbing the never-ending mountain of laundry today, remember that the dust bunnies will still be there—even after the children are grown and gone.

And for every woman battling the monster called expectations, here, take this sword. Chop that rascal to bits, stomp on him and then go live in freedom.

We are all different. Different personalities, different gifts, different seasons, and different dreams. Uniquely designed by the Great Creator.

No matter what title society or family has—or has not–placed on you, the most important one is this: Deeply loved. God made us and He loves us, deeply.

While you’re hanging onto the roller coaster this Mother’s Day, reach out with your other hand and hug another woman–be she older, younger, friend, stranger, or family member. Whisper in her ear that she is exactly right and okay the way she is, the way she was created to be. Tell her how important she is.

Denmark_Connie Mann

A churchyard in Copenhagen, Denmark

To all the mothers–and wonderful mentors–God has put into my life, thank you for the love, lessons and laughter. You make riding the coaster a lot more fun!

 

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    The Conversation

  1. regina smeltzer says:

    Connie, your blog title on mothers day caught my attention and drew me to your sight. Thank you for your words. Also, I just finished reading Angel Falls. It was action-packed, realistic, and left me wanting more. Well done!!

    • Connie Mann says:

      Hi Regina, Thanks so much for stopping by. So glad the blog encouraged you–hope you’ll stop by regularly and join the conversation. I’m delighted that you enjoyed Angel Falls! That story is near and dear to my heart–appreciate your help in spreading the word. 🙂

  2. Good words for mothers. Thanks for sharing and for the hugs.

  3. Beautifully expressed, Connie. I know you touched many hearts today.

    • Connie Mann says:

      Thank you so much, Cynthia. I hope it offered encouragement–Mother’s Day is such a tumultuous day for so many. Most of the ladies I know don’t realize how precious and wonderful they really are!

  4. I lost my mother nineteen years ago so there’s always that feeling of ___________ (indescribable) in my heart. But I do have a wonderful mother-in-law and we celebrate with her. My kids are grown now and serve in their churches and the actual “Sunday” Mother’s Day rarely happens in our family. We have had to adapt for the Lord’s work. But a Saturday celebration or something on a Friday night is still just as fun!

    • Connie Mann says:

      I love that your family adapts, Sherri! My Dad worked for the airlines when I was growing up, so he was never home on holidays. We shifted dates and learned early that it’s the celebration, not the date on the calendar, that matters. I’m equally glad you’ve had a lovely mother-in-law to help ease the loss of your own mom, though I know the ache never really goes away. Hope you have a wonderful celebration–whenever it happens!

  5. What wonderful encouragement, Connie! Thank you for reminding us of our Lord’s care. Nothing brings out our weaknesses and vulnerabilities like motherhood. We need to lean on one another and remind each other to keep looking UP.

    • Connie Mann says:

      I so agree, Mary. Motherhood seems to bring out our vulnerabilities like nothing else can, but if we link arms and walk together, it’s easier to keep our focus!

  6. I responded to an unhappy Facebook post about the day by suggesting that we all had a mother. Even if we’ve never been mothers. Even if the mother who gave us life is no longer here or was never here in a way that mattered, the fact of our life and our birth counts. Because we live and breathe and the ending of our story hasn’t yet been written.

    My daughter is about to have her own child, a little girl she will name after my mama. So, we’re three generations of mamas who love each other. I know we’re blessed, and my heart just breaks for those in pain during this time. Those without. I pray they’ll receive the hugs they need and find their way into the Father’s lap. Thank you for this post. May it help someone find hope.

    • Connie Mann says:

      Thank you, Normandie–very well said. Mother’s Day is so hard for so many. Like you, I pray those who are hurting will find hope and healing in the Father’s lap. And I hope you have a wonderful day with your family, too!